This time last year I believe I had 230,000 followers on instagram. A little less than 200k of those followed me based on one viral reel.

Today my follower number clicked from 222k to 221k and every time that happens I get a little jolt of joy. It sounds counterintuitive— most people want that number to go up, right?

But here’s the thing, every time someone peaces out and decides my online space isn’t for them, it means there are more folks here for whom my space IS for them.

The internet basically begs you to “niche down” as a content creator. “It’s how you’ll get more followers!” They say. “Make viral content to grow your account!” they say. But when a reel goes viral you’re basically niching down in the most granular sense— you become this one singular piece of content. That one thing is why a hundred thousand people follow you. Holy shit, right?

But you aren’t a single piece of content and neither am I. What you do, or what I do, or what anyone does is so much more than what can be contained in a viral piece of content or a “niched down” account.

So the more I show up in my wholeness on my account, the more people will be like, “oh weird, I’m not here for this” and that’s GREAT. I cannot stress that enough. It’s so so great when people decide you aren’t their cup of tea.

And the truth is, I’m so wildly multifaceted, to the point where I don’t have the bandwidth to pursue and embrace all my passions simultaneously. At least not while being a decent mom and wife and friend. So the things I enjoy and pursue will vacillate and ebb and flow. I’ll get a spurt of ADHD hyperfixation on something and run with it. I’ll rediscover something I loved as a kid and deep dive. I’ll feel a tug towards a different creative expression and follow the pull. And I think that’s all normal and ok.

We’ve been taught that it’s normal to pick a career and then do that one thing for 30+ years and that’s the responsible adult way of being, but it doesn’t have to be that way and I don’t think everyone thrives in that format. I know I don’t.

Watching your follower count go down little by little isn’t necessarily a universal experience, especially if you aren’t a content creator, but the idea of showing up in your wholeness and authenticity, and letting those who aren’t here for it fall away--that totally is. I think we’ve all felt like at times we’ve had to edit or censor ourselves to fit into the mold of what a certain group deemed appropriate. Maybe it was high school. Maybe it was a job. Maybe it was a relationship.

What I do know is that creativity thrives when you allow yourself to show up authentically. Messy and imperfect and joyful and true. And, you know what? While my overall follower number is going down, while maybe 1500 folks left this month… 500 joined! 500 folks who are jiving with and aligned with me and my art and music vibe and my values. 500 folks who feel welcomed and seen by the community I've created. And that is so much more meaningful than some vanity number.

Your authenticity will cull your audience for you,

and that's a good thing!