life is short

This past Monday Dan and I went down to White Pass to hang out with his parents and go snowboarding.  I was excited to snowboard, at first, but as we got to the lodge and I went to rent my gear (all my snow gear is still in AK) I started to feel everything inside me start pushing back.  It's been a while since I've felt that revolt.  I like to think of it as a membrane on the outer edge of my comfort zone, pushing back and urging me to stay safely within its confines.  It'd been over three years since the last time I stepped on a snowboard, and even before that I only went once, maybe twice a year.  I'm decent at it, but after being off the slopes for a few years it was definitely a bit scary to scoot off the chair lift, strap in, and point the nose of my board down towards what felt like an abyss of death.  I'm not going to lie, after the first run I spent most of the chair lift back up the hill silently crying in between Dan and his dad.  Thank God for goggles so I could cry without them seeing my momentary break down.  I kept pushing though, pressing through the membrane out of my comfort zone.  By the end of the day I was carving back and forth, still a bit gingerly, but more and more comfortably.  Still, I was glad to return my gear and grab a beer after our last run, thankful I didn't have to feel the anxiety well up inside me as we approached another steep slope.

Despite not fully enjoying snowboarding last weekend, I am glad I had the chance to break through the comfort zone membrane.  Dan and I were driving home today after climbing and were talking about the new year and one of us said something like, "Life is short, do fucking amazing shit" and we decided that that should be 2014's mantra.  It's not a beautiful, poetic mantra, but it gets the job done.  A lot of the time doing amazing shit also requires getting real cozy with that comfort zone membrane.  Pushing myself to work harder, go for dreams that feel a bit crazy, and believe that I have what it takes to do it.

 

dress/courtesy of modcloth :: cardigan/thrifted :: amethyst necklace(similar)/handmade necklace/courtesy of adorn by sarah lewis :: hat/courtesy of lulu's :: photos by Dan