feeling grey


I think I'm in that place.  You know, the place where people you knew all have kids now and when you hang out with them they're all talking about what diapers are awesome and how sleep is a luxury.  But then you go to the bar and all the stupid, loud, obnoxious drunk people don't seem like your scene anymore either. But it's not like you're ready for sweater sets and 9pm bedtimes either.  Here I am.  Stuck in the middle, it seems.  I know it's not just me.  I recall watching a How I Met Your Mother episode about this once which involved letting tannins breathe and sneaking out of bathroom windows. To be fair, I'm pretty sure I'm bad at making friends.  Well, it's not that I'm a bad friend-maker, it's just that getting to the situation where friend-making actually happens is where I run into trouble.  As a work-from-home-er, and someone who is content with hanging out alone in the house, I don't run into a lot of friend-making opportunities.  Of course it's my own fault.  I could be "out there" more.  I could join a club or something, find like minded individuals, put on my extrovert and make friends.  It used to be so easy in high school and college.  And then all those people you made friends with move to different cities after graduation and you're stuck with tight friends thousands of miles away and no one to go on a lady date with or come over and eat brownie batter and watch Grey's Anatomy.  I do have a couple friends in town who would be up for that, but ... I miss my best friend.  I miss the hours of ab-aching laughter, brownie mix binging, and wine consumption.  Okay the wine consumption is hypothetical, since the last time we were together consistently was in high school, but I miss that even though it never happened.

art admirer top/courtesy of modcloth :: skirt/courtesy of tailor & stylist 
jacket/courtesy of asianicandy :: necklace/courtesy of adorn by sarah lewis

My mom's got a great group of friends.  Crazy awesome ladies who are hilarious and crazy.  Strong, powerful, opinionated ladies.  I like them.  I hope that someday I have a group like that.  A group of friends who go on weekend trips to hawaii to soak up the sun and drink large quantities of mai tais and stay up late talking about life and love and deep thoughts and silliness.  A group of women who "get" me and understand who I am and love me.  A group of ladies who will come around me and my family when we're in need, spiritually, physically, mentally.  Perhaps I'm romanticizing it, as I know friend groups come with conflict and other downsides, but I believe the good outweighs the bad.  

I've never really had a group of friends other than in college, which was so great.  I've always tended more towards having just one or two really good friends that I hang out with.  But back in college hanging out with that group of friends was such a blast.  Of course, college is perfect for that and for providing silly shenanigans for said friend group to participate in.  Thankfully a few of my college pals still living in the Seattle area, so that's nice.  One of my super good friends is getting married in a couple months and I hope she invites a bunch of college friends so we can all hang out.  It would be such a fun time to be reunited!  I've never wanted to go to a high school reunion, but I would definitely go to a college reunion if it meant that my friends would all be there.  I'm not sure they're the tradition reunion types, though... I might have to create my own reunion and invite them all, haha.