This week has been probably the hardest so far this summer. I feel like a punching bag that just keeps getting hit left and right. Not only are things at camp draining me till I'm running on fumes, I've been receiving a rash of unkind and really hurtful messages via the internet. It's been ... hard.
Blogging and being a part of this online community has gotten me through some of the hardest times in my life. I was reading some of my journals from when I was going through the worst months of my life and I would repeatedly say that it felt like the only bright spot in my day was getting to come online and blog and interact with all these amazing people. It was the one thing I could count on to uplift me when things in real life were constantly dragging me down. But this week, even my online escape is blindsiding me. These photos don't even feel right to post right now because they are from last week when I was feeling happier.
I don't want you guys to feel like I'm fishing for uplifting comments or "don't listen to those people, so many of us love you!" comments. I just want to be real with you guys. I don't live in some fairy land where my life consists of only making my Winne look cute while wearing flouncy dresses. I hope you don't think that. I can't pretend like I'm happy all the time and I'm so thrilled with everything about everything that is going on. It's just that you guys aren't listening in on the phone calls to my mom where I'm crying, or the late night text messages where I'm venting to Dan. But that's fine. The thing I like about my blog is that, for me at least, it's a place where I choose to be positive. I've chosen to keep this place a sanctuary for me. A place where I can escape from the pain, if necessary, and a place where I can rejoice in the good things in life. I feel like blogging offers that solace for a lot of people, especially because it also offers a community of like-minded people.
