Abstract art making and attuning to intuition

My comfort in formative art lies in the comfort I feel knowing I’m capable of replicating an object or image realistically. I know that once I choose a subject, I’ll be able to render it sufficiently. Abstract art removes that crutch entirely. In the past I’ve approached abstract art by replicating other abstract art— basically doing the same thing I do with representational art, applying it to abstract art that I enjoy as a viewer. But that’s not my art. In order to make my abstract art, I would have to stop looking outside myself and tap into something inside myself and that, folks, is uncomfy. I’m not great at listening to my intuition. I’d rather take a course, or hire a coach, or follow some kind of template, or, or— instead of quieting all the outside influences and seeing what oozes out of my own intuitive creativity. 

There’s also a guarantee of “goodness” in my representational work. Because I know I’m able to render things realistically, I know that it will turn out “good” or at least good enough to not trigger fear or anxiety. In my representational work I avoid the pain of creating “bad art” to a certain degree. Which isn’t to say that everything I’ve made that is representational and realistic is good art, far from it. But at least the badness about it can at least partially be looked over by the fact that it looks alright from a realism standpoint.

I was painting over this orange monstrosity earlier today, and Dan came over and watched me for a moment before I lamented to him about how abstract art feels so unnatural to me. And maybe that’s true, maybe I’m really not an abstract artist. But he reminded me that I’m new at creating abstract work and that I should expect to be amazing at it first try (how dare he. I must be amazing at all things first try, doesn’t he know?!?).

I was on the verge of completely giving up on the piece, and I may still paint over it completely and start over, but I think I might still try to push into doing abstract work. The above screenshot from my IG story yesterday mentions bringing in typographic elements, and I think I might attempt some mixed media elements. I really l love postmodern and pop art and have since college, and 90% of the art I have hanging in my house is typographic. Maybe it’s the writer side of me elbowing my way in, or the printmaker, but I really really love typography elements in fine art.

So. Here I am. Just a girl, standing in front of a canvas, asking abstract art to come out of my brain and onto the canvas.